


Under Lock and Key

by Jazz_Miester



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Other, Platonic Love, The Hobbit - Freeform, The Hobbit fanfiction - Freeform, and i have to much free time, but its corona, this was gonna be something else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24247906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jazz_Miester/pseuds/Jazz_Miester
Summary: What are you supposed too do when your world starts falling apart? No one ever gives you advice for that. Or at least nothing good. Y/n doesn't have a clue on how to piece her life back together. But, one thing she didn't expect, was to meet her hero from her story books.Nothing is ever as it seems. She meets wizards and trolls. Even a talking bird or two. But never in her wildest dreams did she think she would feel safest with a sword in her hand and a dwarf at her back.
Relationships: Thorin Oakenshield/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Breathe In

Screaming slowly fades away to nothing behind her. The door rattling on its hinges as it's slammed shut. She had wanted to make a quick getaway to her room hours ago. But now her mother sits in the kitchen crying. Her father's truck roaring to life as it rolls out of the driveway. Her flowers pots become unwilling victims to the trucks large tires.

Y/n holds her breath while counting to ten. The tv flickers twice then turns to static. She had lost the signal. Placing her trembling hands on the table she pushes herself up and off of the floor.

Lily, their old farm dog, comes passing up to her. Nudging her honey colored head under her hand. Y/n gives the dogs head a few loving pets before slowly making her way to the kitchen.

Her mother's dark hair hangs in ringlets around her head. A cigarette slowly turning to ash in her hand. Her neatly applied makeup running in streams down her face. Black mixed with blue. The end of her cigarette stained red from her lips.

"Momma?" Y/n speaks softly. The same voice she uses for the baby cows and horses when they first come into this world. She didn't get an answer. "Momma?" She asks again. Her mother sighs before looking at her daughter. A soft smile spreading across her face. A smile that no longer reaches her eyes. Tragic. Is what y/n calls it.

Her mother was the most beautiful woman in the world with nothing more than a smile on her face.

"Do you want to order pizza for dinner tonight? My treat." Even at nineteen years old her mother still tries to pretend that her and her father didn't fight. And even still y/n let's her. Let's her have this one little thing to control.

"As long as you don't get pineapple." That gets her mother to chuckle as she grabs her phone. Y/n goes to the sink and wets a clean wash cloth. Lily close at her heals.

"Yes. One pepperoni and one cheese." Y/n pulls up a chair next to her mother and begins to gently wipe away at her face. Lily comes over and sits at her feet. Slowly but surely her mother face begins to clear of the makeup. Reviling fine lines and crows feet.

Her mother hangs up the phone. Letting it clatter to the table. Her hand comes up to rest over y/n's on the table.

"My big girl." She gave a sad smile. Tears welling in her eyes. "My big brave girl." Y/n breathes in deeply. Trying to will away the lump in her throat. The smell of her mother's vanilla perfume wafts over her.

"I love you." Y/n whispers. Her mother draws her in close. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she whispers back.

"I love you to, little dove." Her voice trembles as she speaks. Wiping a few stray tears her mother gets up to leave. No doubt to wash up before the delivery guy shows up. Y/n plays with the ends of her hoodies sleeves. Her mother and father have been fighting for months now. It got so bad she had to stay over at her Grandmothers house a state over. It didn't last long. Y/n's just glad she got to see her Grandma one last time before she passed. It had happened so quickly. She still couldn't forget it. Her Grandmother had went to bed and just, didn't get up. When y/n tried to figure out why she hadn't gotten up early like she always did she went into her Grandma's room. Snow white hair pulled into neat little braids. Silk dressing gown bunched up at the sleeves. And her eyes as dull as unpolished iron.

It haunted her to this day. For hours she tried to wake her Grandmother up. Not wanting to believe the truth. She called the police from her bathtub. Holding her Grandmothers shawl to her nose trying to breath in the scent of her rose perfume.

The TV flickered back to life in the living room. Lily lazily made her way to her dog bed to go stare at it. The old dog had been getting slower and slower with age. Having been around since before y/n had been born. The dog had been a gift to her mother from her father before she had moved in with her husband. Lily had been named after her mother. 

Y/n got up and started the kettle. Wanting a cup of tea before the pizza got here. She played on her phone while she waited.Sitting on the counter as she scrolled through her pinterest feed. A few moments later and the kettle began to sing. Steam pouring through the spout like dragons breath. She pulled out two cups and began spooning out tea leaves into a diffuser. The smell of chamomile fills the small room. 

Cradling the small cup y/n walks back into the living room and curls up on the couch. Pulling a thick, knitted blanket over her knees she sets the cup on the table to steep. While waiting she flicked through the tv channels. Not finding anything interesting to watch she settles on some nature documentary. Something about butterflies. She could hear her mother in her room. The sound of the shower loud in the old house. After a while the noise cuts and the sound of a blow dryer takes its place. Her mother comes down in a faded pink dressing gown. It was laced at the bottom. Pure white flowers. Y/n loved it.

Lily sat at the other end of the couch, her deft fingers braiding her hair all the while. The door bell rang. Lily pressed a few twenties in her hand, along with a five dollar bill.

"You can go give him the money little dove. Tell him whats left over is his tip." Y/n nodded her head. Opening the door reviled a women in her early twenties. Hair cropped short and dyed a vibrant pink. She smiled. 

"Two pizzas? One pepperoni and one cheese?" Metal flashed in her mouth. Her tongue was pierced. Y/n remembered the fit her father had pitched when she came home with an industrial piercing. She wondered if it had hurt the girl much.

"Yep!" Y/n replied with a smile. She gave the girl her money. Remembering to tell the girl about the tip.

"I like your hair." Y/n told her. She smiled.

"I like yours two. Blue looks good on you." Y/n grinned wildly. 

By the time she had set the pizza on the table her mother had already come back with paper plates. Lily tossed a cheese pizza in the dogs food dish before settling down on the couch. They both ate in silence, watching the tv from one documentary to the next. The clock ticked quietly about the fire place. Which was filled with dying embers. Neither one wanted to stoke it back to life.

At last y/n spoke the question she already knew the answer to.

"Are you okay momma?"

"Yes dear." A shuddering inhale. "Its time for bed now. Ill cook breakfast tomorrow." And with that the two went their seperate ways. Y/n had to give Lily her medication before bed.

It was only when she reached the safety of her room did she let the tears fall. The lump in her throat finally to big to swallow. She slid down the door while biting her hand. Her chest heaved as she gasped for air. The large room coming to swallow her whole. Fairy lights twinkled around the edges of her room. Soft yellow light she tried to focus on. Her body trembling and her stomach turning. Threatening to up heave the pizza she had ate. In the end it won. 

She turned the show on after. Shedding her sweats and hoodie and stepping into the to cold stream of water. She washed quickly only bothering to dig out some underwear and her hoodie off of the floor before crawling into bed. All was done in the dark.

She didn't want to look at herself.

She didn't want to see the aftermath of this days fight.


	2. Breathe Out

When y/n wakes up that morning its to the sound of a rooster crowing beneath her window. She sighs and curls up underneath her heavy blankets. The tip of her nose is ice cold. She should have stoked the fire last night. The rooster crows again.

"One day." She mutters. "One day you'll be wrapped up in taco shells. Just you wait you little bastard." She loved that rooster. Y/n would admit that in a heart beat. But on the days she wanted nothing more than to sleep in she hated that bird with more than anything she could in her life. She could hear her mother humming when she went passed her door.

With a sigh y/n threw the blankets off of her in one quick motion. The cold air rising goosebumps on her bare legs. Shivering she makes her way to her dresser drawer and digs around until she finds a pair of jeans. Then she pulls out a bra and a long sleeved shirt before pulling her hoodie over her head quickly. It takes her a few minutes to fish her boots out from underneath her bed. A few more minutes and her hair is pulled up and she's out the door. 

Lily waits for her at the bottom of the stairs. The old girl couldn't make it up the stairs anymore without any help. Y/n scratches the top of Lily's head and walks towards the kitchen. Her mother is dressed in a pair of overalls. Black hair still pulled back into a braid. Long and thick and hangs just about her hips.

"Morning Momma." Her mother smiles from her place at the stove. She flips a few hash browns before speaking.

"Morning Little Dove." She opens the fridge and frowns. "Do you mind going out to the hen house and getting a few eggs?" Oops. She had forgotten to get them the other day.

"Sure." Y/n walks out the kitchen door and onto the back porch. The morning air was crisp and cool. Filling her lungs and bringing out the heaviness that laid on her chest. Lily was right on her heels. She made her way to the hen house. The chickens made a racket inside, ready to be let out. Y/n opened the gate surrounding the coop and takes a handful of chicken feed in one hand. Lily waits patently just outside the gate. When she opens the door the chickens come out one by one then in a flurry as she throws the feed out onto the ground. Y/n makes quick work gathering the eggs. Placing them one by one into her hoodie pocket. As she steps outside the rooster comes clawing at the other side of the fence. She snorts.

"Well if ya wanted your girls maybe you should have stayed inside." None the less she held the gate door open to let the colorful bird back in. With a shake of her head she walks back to the house. Lily walked in first. 

"I got the eggs!" Y/n called out cheerfully. She took them out of her pocket and washed the dirt off of them. Making a mental note to clean the nesting boxes out she gave them to her mom and began to fill the tea kettle. When that was done she went back upstairs to brush her teeth and grab a book to read while her mother cooked.

Y/n quickly settled down into one of the kitchen chairs and took note of the plate set out in front of her fathers usual spot. 

"Did dad come back home?" Her mother froze then shook her head.

"Nope." Oh. She opened her book and began to read. The thing was older than her and it showed. Some pages were tapped back into the book, all of them were yellowed with age and smelt faintly of something pleasant. The edges were dog eared and the covers hardly stayed on anymore. She heard her mother laugh next to her.

"Your reading that old thing again?" Y/n smiled and nodded her head. 

"Well duh. Its only the best book ever." As she said she shook her head, as if though it should have been the clearest thing in the world. Her mother cracked an egg into the skillet.

"Do you wanna read it out lout then?" 

"Do you want me to start from the beginning or where i'm at now?" Her mother shrugged her shoulders. "So where gonna go from where im at then." Y/n stated and began to read. Regaling her mother with how Bilbo stole a bag from a troll and got caught. All because the back talked as he took it out of the troll's ( Williams) pocket.

A plate of bacon, eggs, and hash browns were set in front of her and she put the book aside in favor of the food. Her stomach growling as she caught a whiff of the food. The two talked about the work they had to do that day.

"I'm going to go down and fix the fence. I still don't know what's been knocking it over." Lily spoke. Y/n shrugged and took a bite of her eggs.

"It could just be Daisy wanting out again." Lily shook her head. 

"I don't think so." She took a drink of her tea. "Daisy was locked up last night. I heard the neighbors where having problems with some coyotes and didn't want to risk her getting hurt." Y/n thought for a moment then shook her head.

"I don't really have any other ideas then. Do you want me to help you fix the fence?" Her mom shook head.

"No. You need to pick up the flower pots and water the plants in the green house." She got up and scrapped her leftovers in Lily's dish. "You can come down after though." Y/n shoveled down the rest of her food and put her dish in the sink.

"Alright!" She called out as she ran out of the kitchen. She came to a sudden halt as she finally got to see the after effects of her fathers quick getaway. It was a mess. Dirt and roses lay scattered across the paved driveway. Her mothers tiny apple tree broken in half. With a heavy sigh she got to work. Picking up broken glass and sweeping all the potting soil off to the side. Maybe the grass would like it, she thought. A quick glance into the garage showed her she needed to clean in there as well.

Before to long she made her way down to the green house. The heat was immediate when she opened the door. Early flower starts were well on their way to blooming. Beans wound around a grate leaning against the wall. Her blueberry were well on their way to being needed to be planted into the ground. Y/n turned the house on and began to water the plants. Humming to herself as she did so. 

It took her longer than she thought it would. She wiped her hands on her jeans when she finished. Clearing away the dirt on her hands from the plants she had to re-plant. Y/n pulled her phone out of her pocket and plugged in her earbuds. It was a fifteen minute walk from where she was at to the fence her mother was talking about earlier. Music took over her world as she walked along a well worn path. Y/n softly hummed along as she walked and took in everything around her. From Lily's honey colored fur light up by the rising sun to the dew covering the flowers on the ground. The smell of pine thick in the air as the wind blew. White clouds puffed past her lips as she breathed out into the cool air. Her boots sunk into the dirt below her feet still soft with yesterdays rain.

Her playlist switched songs as the fence began to come into few. Y/n looked along the fence line for her mother. Pulling one earbud out to call out for her. 

"Mom!" Her voice carried on the open air. Worry began to settle on her chest. "Momma!" Y/n begins to jog her feet slipping on the wet earth a few times. "Mom!" Her voice comes into a shrill. Lily starts to bark wildy. 

(I'm sending a message of feathers and bone. Just let me know i'm not forgotten out her alone.)

Her mother lays in a crumpled heap on the ground. Her hair pulled loose from its braid and falling over her now pale face. 

"Momma!" Y/n falls to her knees at her mothers sigh. Her fingers dance against her mother face now covered in blood.

(The air is cold the night is long. I feel like I might fade into the dawn. Fade until i'm gone.)

Y/n felt the breath leave her body as she tried not to panic. Lily growled at something beyond the fence. Y/n gently shook her mother. 

"Mom? Can you hear me?" Her mother didn't respond. Y/n took her jacket off and used it to cover the still bleeding wound on the back of her mothers head. As she looked around she could see the trail in the dirt where her mother slipped. Right onto the bed of rocks they were going to turn into a picnic area. The table had already been pulled down here. Ready to go at a moments notice. Y/n used the screen on her phone to see if her mom was still breathing. Waiting with her breath held too see if the black screen would fog up.

(Im sending a raven with blood on its wings. Hoping it reaches you in time and you know what it means.) 

Y/n yelled at Lily when she wouldn't stop growling, who in turn whimpered and came to lay down at her mothers other side. Y/n clicked her phone on and tore the other earbud from her ear. Quickly she dialed an emergency number.

(Cause out here in the darkness and out of the light. If you get too me to late just know that I tried.)

"Hello, what is your emergency." A women's voice.

"My mom fell down while working on a fence. Her head is bleeding and she's not waking up."

"Is she still breathing?" Y/n shook her head then realized she had to talk.

"Uh. Ya, she still is. I checked." She could hear the women typing away at somthing.

"Alright dear. You just stay where you are and keep and eye on your mom. Could you tell me where you live and where your at right now?"Y/n rattled off her address and told her that they had to follow the path from the greenhouse. She stayed on the line with her. Asking her questions about her mother up until the moment the paramedics came down.

Y/n followed after them as they put her mothers neck into a brace and hoisted her onto a stretcher and back to the ambulance. When they put her into the back y/n had ran inside to grab her truck keys to follow behind them. Locking Lily in the house as she left.

Her hands shook as she gripped the steering wheel. She could hardly dial her fathers number into her phone. She pressed it to her ear and could only watch in terror as the ambulance became slower and slower. The phone rang against her ear once, twice, three times before it stopped. The phone fell from her hand and onto the trucks worn seat.

Her heart stopped when the ambulance did.

A train rumbled on its tracks as its horn bellowed into the sky.

She screamed. 

She yelled.

She cursed every god she could think of in that moment.

Every minute seemed to take years. The sirens wailed their sorrows. Crying out in helplessness, as if it knew what was happening. Y/n couldn't do anything but watch the flashing lights. They danced across the hood of her truck. Filling her eyes and burrowing down into her soul. Her heart bled its tears as she muttered her prays. 

"Move dammit!" Her hands bounced against her steering wheel. "Fucking move!" She sobbed. She muttered it again and again. A faithless prayer thrown out into the wind.

The train passed. The ambulance moved on. Y/n couldn't press her foot down on the gas. Only watching on in horror as the vehicle didn't speed up, but rather lumber on in the same manner as the other vehicles on the road. It took her three minutes to go. The sound of honking horns fading into the back round.


	3. And don't let them see

"Dead upon arrival."

"Poor girl. Loosing her mother so young."

"Where is her father."

"What do you mean you can't get a hold of him?"

Dead. She was dead. The only other person in the world who faced the same day to day trials as she did and she was gone.

She was a sword with out a shield.

Deadly, but with no protection.

She shivers. Her hoodie was tossed in her truck. Covered in her mother blood.

Y/n was numb. Her shoulders were heavy and her ears were ringing. Her hands trembled in her laps. Her ring catches the florescent lights. She digs a nail into the palm of her hand. Pressing deeper and deeper and..

"My dear?" A woman's voice pulls her away. Y/n looks up. There was a man and a woman in front of her. A couple, probably. The woman smiles. She has hair of spun gold. Y/n noticed. The woman's moved.

"What?" She flounders out. The woman's face falls. 

"I asked if you would like some coffee?" And sure enough she held two cups in her hands. 

"Uh, sure?" Her voice wavers. She pressed the coffee into her trembling hands. The couple takes a seat on either side of her. 

"My name is Hannah. That's my husband Mal." The man chuckled. Y/n glanced over. He smiled as they looked at one another. The mans dark hair was graying. Fine lines fell softly around his bright eyes. He had a long, dark beard. Neatly kept and braided with thick, metal clasps at the ends.

Y/n chose to look at the coffee in her hands. Trying to focus on the heat.

"My" Her voice caught. "My name is y/n." Hannah's hand came to rest on her shoulder. 

"Are you alright dear? You're here all alone." Y/n shook her head.

"My mother's here." She didn't want to tell them why.

"Then where is your father, Mizimith, if I may ask?" Mal's voice was deep and rumbled like far off thunder. Y/n shrugged.

"Who fucking knows." Y/n gasped out. "The man won't answer his damn phone. You'd think you would answer after the millionth time." Hannah began to run a hand up and down her back.

"Oh dear. Do you need anything?" Y/n shook her head. Biting back a snarky remark. They were strangers, yes, but they meant well.

"No, not that I know of." She looked up at the golden haired woman. Her heart cried out. She wanted to scream for help. Words welled up her throat and stopped at the tip of her tongue. Her lips a cage for everything she had ever wanted to say. "Thank you though. For asking. Its more than any one has done." She blinked back tears. Her body stilled when Mal placed a hand on her shoulder. 

The two left a few moments after. 

Y/n sat for hours. Doing nothing more than drinking the scalding coffee that tasted like cardboard and sugar. She tried to call her father a few more times and got nothing more than a text message that told her to fuck off.

She texted back what had happened.

He was there within hours.

.

.

.

.

When you think of death you don't really think of it as a lingering thing. Would you? Y/n wondered as she watched a priest speak over her mothers grave. The wooden casket slowly falling into the ground. 

You don't imagine bright blue skies and singing birds. Not of the sweet smell of flowers dancing in the wind. Nor do you think of children laughing in the background. 

Many people had come and to y/n it didn't seem to be enough. Her mother had known many people. She was a kind soul who couldn't tell a single person no if they needed help. None of them was family. Not in blood at any rate. No one but her mothers half brother. 

He wasn't a good man.

A little girl came running up to her. A bouquet of flowers held in her dark hands. Dense curls where braided back, a zig zaging pattern against her skull. She held the flowers out. White lilys held together by a dark blue ribbon.

"For your Momma." Y/n held back a sob as she placed the flowers into her hands. The girl ran off soon after.

.

.

.

She needed to get out of this bed. At lease take a shower. Y/n hadn't moved in days. Maybe weeks. She didn't know any more. She did know though that her father had been coming and going from the house frequently. The man hadn't even checked on her. Or at least made sure she had eaten something. She had by the way. 

She threw it up though.

Lilly whined and scratched at her door. The dog hadn't left her bedroom door. Y/n wondered how she made it up the stair. Lily barked and y/n jumped. She got dressed and opened the door. Lily howled and nudged her hand underneath her hand. Y/n gave her a few scratches.

"How about we go eat, ya?" Her voice came out hoarse. Lilly barked and began to walked down the stairs. Y/n walked over and picked her up. Noticing, with concern, with how much lighter she was. The two walked into the kitchen and y/n went to look for her mom at the stove. She loved to bake and it was the first place everyone went to look for her. 

It was the one place y/n knew she would find her mom when she was little. 

"I think you get to have something special for being such a good girl. Huh Lily?" Her tail thumped against the wooden floor. "Ill take that as a yes then." She pulled out a pan of potato casserole in a thin metal pan covered in foil. When she pealed it back a foul smell came from it. Lily whined and covered her nose with her leg. "Agreed. Raviolis it is." She tossed the pan into the garbage and pulled out two cans of raviolis and two bowls. As it warmed up in the microwave y/n sat down on the floor. Motioning Lily forward to sit in her lap.

Lily was more than happy to obliged. This was her human after all. She had seen her grow up from a tiny noisy thing to a bigger noisier thing. Still gave her the tastiest things to. Lilly began trying to lick at her face. Laughing y/n pushed her back. Settling down to scratch behind her ears and running her hand along golden fur.

"I miss her. You know?" Silence. "I" She swallowed thickly. "I don't know what im supposed too do, Lily." The microwaved hummed above her. "Dad's never here and I don't think he even cares. Why else would he pretend that I don't exist." The microwave beeped and Lily began to get riled up again. Y/n poured one bowl into Lily's dish after checking to see if it wasn't to hot. She began eating. Straining her ears to listen to anything. Anything except this deafening silence. Her ears rang. They always ring in the silence. Ever since she had that gun go off right by her ear it hasn't been the same since. 

Her mother always made sure to try to drown it out.

"Sometimes I think I still hear her." She muttered. Dropping her half eaten ravioli back into the bowl. "I still hear her calling out my name. Little Dove. Little Dove." Her spoon clatters against the table. Y/n dumps her uneaten food into Lily's dish. "I'm going to go take a shower." And with that told to the only other living thing in the house. She leaves.

She was in there for an hour. Actually getting clean. Her whole room smelled of vanilla and mint. A candle flickering on her desk table the source of part of it. Her hair was still wet as she pulled a shirt over her head. Y/n was going to make an attempt to get something done today. Even if that something was getting clean. 

Y/n wandered into her parents room after a while. Fiddling with bits and pieces of her mothers things. Her perfume. She kept that. Shoving the little bottle into her pocket. She checked the calendar on her moms vanity. Its been two weeks since her death. She threw the calendar away. She began going through everything. Getting ready to box it away and put it up. 

She was proud of herself though. She only fell apart once. Clutching her mothers sweater to her chest. Breathing in that familiar scent. 

.

.

.

She was in the living room now. Slowly drinking a bottle of water. Her legs stung something fierce. She was trying to forget. Lily laid in her bed. Softly snoring. The clock struck twelve and the sound of her fathers engine startled the dog awake. She didn't know what she was doing. Trying to prove to her father that she was alive she guessed. 

"Would he even care?" She spoke aloud. Lights flooded the living room. It seemed a lifetime ago it was just her and her mom sitting here. Someone was giggling. Lily lifted her head up. Sneezed and went back to sleep.

It wasn't just her father who fell through the door.

"Who the fuck is that?" Y/n asked. Some skinny little thing hung on her fathers arm. She didn't look to be any older that herself. An only half dressed. High heels dangled from her fingers. Along with a few rings and a golden bracelet. Lips were painted a rosy red her eyes were dusted gold.

"Who the fuck are you?" The girl snarled out. Y/n felt her face grow hot. Anger bubbling in her chest.

"That mans daughter you slut." Her dad yelled at her. His words slurred. She couldn't make out what he was saying. She only knew that he was pushing the girl up the stairs and then coming after her. 

She didn't have anytime to react when the back of his hand met her cheek. She fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. Her dad spat something out and when he wasn't answered picked her up and tossed her onto the couch.

"I said I want you gone." He snarled. "Your fucking old enough. Leave." Lily came tearing after him. He kicked her and then kicked her again when she tried to get up. "Stupid bitch." He muttered and made his way up the stairs.

Y/n was stunned. It wasn't the first time. No. But it was a first that he told her to leave. An the first he hurt Lily. Her face burned. The only thing that got her to move was Lily yelping. She gathered the Dog into her arms and threw the front door open. Making a beeline for her car she shoved Lily into the passenger seat. 

"Give me a minute girl. I... I gotta go do something." When she walked up the stairs to her room she could hear moaning coming from her parents room.

She hoped he burned in hell.

Y/n packed quickly. Grabbing clothes for a few days, her phone and charger. Shoes. Toiletries and other necessities in a bag. She grabbed a sleeping bag and pillow and tossed that into the pile. She was going to be homeless for a while. She didn't want to need something and not have it. Y/n grabbed her wallet and pepper spray and threw her bag over one shoulder. She grabbed her mothers sweater hanging off her chair on the way out.

Just for the hell of it she grabbed her dads keys and threw it into the fish pond in the back yard. After being sure all the animals were fed she left. 

Lily whined from where she was sitting. Y/n felt bad but there wasn't much else she could do but keep the heater on and wait for her dogs pills to kick in. She was trying to think. She knew her neighbors would take Lily in without question. But they would want to know why they had to in the middle of the night. She was trying to come up with a half assed excuse that sounded half plausible. The only thing she could think of was that her dad was out of town and she had to go help her dad because his truck broke down.

They bought it.

.

.

.

She was alone. In the middle of the woods a hundred miles out from her home. The truck was shut off and she was sleeping in the back with the canopy on.

It was then she let herself cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I just wanted to let you know that this is also being posted over on Wattpad!


	4. When it rains it pours

"Dead upon arrival."

"Poor girl. Loosing her mother so young."

"Where is her father."

"What do you mean you can't get a hold of him?"

Dead. She was dead. The only other person in the world who faced the same day to day trials as she did and she was gone.

She was a sword with out a shield.

Deadly, but with no protection.

She shivers. Her hoodie was tossed in her truck. Covered in her mother blood.

Y/n was numb. Her shoulders were heavy and her ears were ringing. Her hands trembled in her laps. Her ring catches the florescent lights. She digs a nail into the palm of her hand. Pressing deeper and deeper and..

"My dear?" A woman's voice pulls her away. Y/n looks up. There was a man and a woman in front of her. A couple, probably. The woman smiles. She has hair of spun gold. Y/n noticed. The woman's moved.

"What?" She flounders out. The woman's face falls. 

"I asked if you would like some coffee?" And sure enough she held two cups in her hands. 

"Uh, sure?" Her voice wavers. She pressed the coffee into her trembling hands. The couple takes a seat on either side of her. 

"My name is Hannah. That's my husband Mal." The man chuckled. Y/n glanced over. He smiled as they looked at one another. The mans dark hair was graying. Fine lines fell softly around his bright eyes. He had a long, dark beard. Neatly kept and braided with thick, metal clasps at the ends.

Y/n chose to look at the coffee in her hands. Trying to focus on the heat.

"My" Her voice caught. "My name is y/n." Hannah's hand came to rest on her shoulder. 

"Are you alright dear? You're here all alone." Y/n shook her head.

"My mother's here." She didn't want to tell them why.

"Then where is your father, Mizimith, if I may ask?" Mal's voice was deep and rumbled like far off thunder. Y/n shrugged.

"Who fucking knows." Y/n gasped out. "The man won't answer his damn phone. You'd think you would answer after the millionth time." Hannah began to run a hand up and down her back.

"Oh dear. Do you need anything?" Y/n shook her head. Biting back a snarky remark. They were strangers, yes, but they meant well.

"No, not that I know of." She looked up at the golden haired woman. Her heart cried out. She wanted to scream for help. Words welled up her throat and stopped at the tip of her tongue. Her lips a cage for everything she had ever wanted to say. "Thank you though. For asking. Its more than any one has done." She blinked back tears. Her body stilled when Mal placed a hand on her shoulder. 

The two left a few moments after. 

Y/n sat for hours. Doing nothing more than drinking the scalding coffee that tasted like cardboard and sugar. She tried to call her father a few more times and got nothing more than a text message that told her to fuck off.

She texted back what had happened.

He was there within hours.

.

.

.

.

When you think of death you don't really think of it as a lingering thing. Would you? Y/n wondered as she watched a priest speak over her mothers grave. The wooden casket slowly falling into the ground. 

You don't imagine bright blue skies and singing birds. Not of the sweet smell of flowers dancing in the wind. Nor do you think of children laughing in the background. 

Many people had come and to y/n it didn't seem to be enough. Her mother had known many people. She was a kind soul who couldn't tell a single person no if they needed help. None of them was family. Not in blood at any rate. No one but her mothers half brother. 

He wasn't a good man.

A little girl came running up to her. A bouquet of flowers held in her dark hands. Dense curls where braided back, a zig zaging pattern against her skull. She held the flowers out. White lilys held together by a dark blue ribbon.

"For your Momma." Y/n held back a sob as she placed the flowers into her hands. The girl ran off soon after.

.

.

.

She needed to get out of this bed. At lease take a shower. Y/n hadn't moved in days. Maybe weeks. She didn't know any more. She did know though that her father had been coming and going from the house frequently. The man hadn't even checked on her. Or at least made sure she had eaten something. She had by the way. 

She threw it up though.

Lilly whined and scratched at her door. The dog hadn't left her bedroom door. Y/n wondered how she made it up the stair. Lily barked and y/n jumped. She got dressed and opened the door. Lily howled and nudged her hand underneath her hand. Y/n gave her a few scratches.

"How about we go eat, ya?" Her voice came out hoarse. Lilly barked and began to walked down the stairs. Y/n walked over and picked her up. Noticing, with concern, with how much lighter she was. The two walked into the kitchen and y/n went to look for her mom at the stove. She loved to bake and it was the first place everyone went to look for her. 

It was the one place y/n knew she would find her mom when she was little. 

"I think you get to have something special for being such a good girl. Huh Lily?" Her tail thumped against the wooden floor. "Ill take that as a yes then." She pulled out a pan of potato casserole in a thin metal pan covered in foil. When she pealed it back a foul smell came from it. Lily whined and covered her nose with her leg. "Agreed. Raviolis it is." She tossed the pan into the garbage and pulled out two cans of raviolis and two bowls. As it warmed up in the microwave y/n sat down on the floor. Motioning Lily forward to sit in her lap.

Lily was more than happy to obliged. This was her human after all. She had seen her grow up from a tiny noisy thing to a bigger noisier thing. Still gave her the tastiest things to. Lilly began trying to lick at her face. Laughing y/n pushed her back. Settling down to scratch behind her ears and running her hand along golden fur.

"I miss her. You know?" Silence. "I" She swallowed thickly. "I don't know what im supposed too do, Lily." The microwaved hummed above her. "Dad's never here and I don't think he even cares. Why else would he pretend that I don't exist." The microwave beeped and Lily began to get riled up again. Y/n poured one bowl into Lily's dish after checking to see if it wasn't to hot. She began eating. Straining her ears to listen to anything. Anything except this deafening silence. Her ears rang. They always ring in the silence. Ever since she had that gun go off right by her ear it hasn't been the same since. 

Her mother always made sure to try to drown it out.

"Sometimes I think I still hear her." She muttered. Dropping her half eaten ravioli back into the bowl. "I still hear her calling out my name. Little Dove. Little Dove." Her spoon clatters against the table. Y/n dumps her uneaten food into Lily's dish. "I'm going to go take a shower." And with that told to the only other living thing in the house. She leaves.

She was in there for an hour. Actually getting clean. Her whole room smelled of vanilla and mint. A candle flickering on her desk table the source of part of it. Her hair was still wet as she pulled a shirt over her head. Y/n was going to make an attempt to get something done today. Even if that something was getting clean. 

Y/n wandered into her parents room after a while. Fiddling with bits and pieces of her mothers things. Her perfume. She kept that. Shoving the little bottle into her pocket. She checked the calendar on her moms vanity. Its been two weeks since her death. She threw the calendar away. She began going through everything. Getting ready to box it away and put it up. 

She was proud of herself though. She only fell apart once. Clutching her mothers sweater to her chest. Breathing in that familiar scent. 

.

.

.

She was in the living room now. Slowly drinking a bottle of water. Her legs stung something fierce. She was trying to forget. Lily laid in her bed. Softly snoring. The clock struck twelve and the sound of her fathers engine startled the dog awake. She didn't know what she was doing. Trying to prove to her father that she was alive she guessed. 

"Would he even care?" She spoke aloud. Lights flooded the living room. It seemed a lifetime ago it was just her and her mom sitting here. Someone was giggling. Lily lifted her head up. Sneezed and went back to sleep.

It wasn't just her father who fell through the door.

"Who the fuck is that?" Y/n asked. Some skinny little thing hung on her fathers arm. She didn't look to be any older that herself. An only half dressed. High heels dangled from her fingers. Along with a few rings and a golden bracelet. Lips were painted a rosy red her eyes were dusted gold.

"Who the fuck are you?" The girl snarled out. Y/n felt her face grow hot. Anger bubbling in her chest.

"That mans daughter you slut." Her dad yelled at her. His words slurred. She couldn't make out what he was saying. She only knew that he was pushing the girl up the stairs and then coming after her. 

She didn't have anytime to react when the back of his hand met her cheek. She fell into a crumpled heap on the floor. Her dad spat something out and when he wasn't answered picked her up and tossed her onto the couch.

"I said I want you gone." He snarled. "Your fucking old enough. Leave." Lily came tearing after him. He kicked her and then kicked her again when she tried to get up. "Stupid bitch." He muttered and made his way up the stairs.

Y/n was stunned. It wasn't the first time. No. But it was a first that he told her to leave. An the first he hurt Lily. Her face burned. The only thing that got her to move was Lily yelping. She gathered the Dog into her arms and threw the front door open. Making a beeline for her car she shoved Lily into the passenger seat. 

"Give me a minute girl. I... I gotta go do something." When she walked up the stairs to her room she could hear moaning coming from her parents room.

She hoped he burned in hell.

Y/n packed quickly. Grabbing clothes for a few days, her phone and charger. Shoes. Toiletries and other necessities in a bag. She grabbed a sleeping bag and pillow and tossed that into the pile. She was going to be homeless for a while. She didn't want to need something and not have it. Y/n grabbed her wallet and pepper spray and threw her bag over one shoulder. She grabbed her mothers sweater hanging off her chair on the way out.

Just for the hell of it she grabbed her dads keys and threw it into the fish pond in the back yard. After being sure all the animals were fed she left. 

Lily whined from where she was sitting. Y/n felt bad but there wasn't much else she could do but keep the heater on and wait for her dogs pills to kick in. She was trying to think. She knew her neighbors would take Lily in without question. But they would want to know why they had to in the middle of the night. She was trying to come up with a half assed excuse that sounded half plausible. The only thing she could think of was that her dad was out of town and she had to go help her dad because his truck broke down.

They bought it.

.

.

.

She was alone. In the middle of the woods a hundred miles out from her home. The truck was shut off and she was sleeping in the back with the canopy on.

It was then she let herself cry.


End file.
